Things He Should Know

Right now Ben thinks I’m kinda okay. I know some stuff. He knows more and knows better, of course, but for the time being I still rate. That won’t last I’m sure. But there are a few things he needs to know as he grows up that I need to start teaching him now while he’s still sort of listening. So here are the top 10 things my son needs to learn over the next, oh, 15 years.

1)   Never EVER sport the mullet. It was horrible in the 80s and it is just as bad now. No matter what anyone says, you’ll look like a hillbilly.

2)   When you date a girl treat here with total respect. Always remember that she is someone’s daughter, someone’s sister—because if you mistreat her, her big brother will surely remind you.

3)   Listen. Too many people can’t hear what others are saying over the flapping of their own lips. It’s an important skill. Develop it!

4)   Never be too cool to dance. Girls LOVE a guy who will dance with them.

5)   Learn to cook, even if it’s the basics.

6)   Don’t ever post something on the internet that you wouldn’t pin up on the front door for everyone to see. Because that’s pretty much what you’re doing anyway.

7)   No matter how hard it is, stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. You never know when someone else will show you the same compassion and character in return.

8)   Don’t wait for an occasion to do something nice for those you love. Buy flowers just because, say “I love you” without having to add the “too”, help out without being asked. People won’t forget it.

9)   Dream big and work hard to make it come true. But know that we support and love you no matter what.

10)  Just in case you don’t make the NHL, work hard in school. Trust me – that’ll come in handy!